In Memoriam

Joan Harriet Whitman Krantz

BA, MA-CCC

April 29, 1947 – February 26, 2007

I first met Joan in the spring of 1966 – we were going to be counselors at Surprise Lake Camp in Cold Spring, New York. I remember her with close cropped hair and sunglasses sitting at my table during counselor orientation, but didn’t connect with her at all at that time. When we came to the camp later in the summer we were co-counselors, leading a group of about 16 girls and boys in their early teens – we ourselves were 19 year old teenagers. We were really attracted to each other and became boyfriend and girlfriend as the summer progressed. I always thought to myself “how could this beautiful girl be attracted to this ugly guy?” We fell in love and became engaged in the spring of 1967 and married in June of 1968.

Joan and her son Jeffrey

Joan “mugging” with her son Paul

One of the greatest gifts Joan gave to me was an education in unconditional love through witnessing her relationships with her mother and grandfather. Her grandfather thought of her as a great jewel and was always there for her for anything that she needed. He was a man with a wife, 3 daughters and 7 grandchildren, but the only picture by his bedside was hers. I only knew her mother for about 13 years, until her untimely death at the age of 57. In that time, I saw the ideal mother-daughter relationship. Not a single harsh word was ever exchanged between them. They would do anything for each other.

Joan gave me two other great gifts – our wonderful sons, Jeff and Paul. She was the greatest of mothers. Loving, doting, supporting, fighting – she learned from her wonderful mother what mothering was all about and put those lessons to good use. Joan was a constant in their lives that helped them through many tough times. She was the perfect mother – and I know that her sons will agree with that.

Joan and her beloved mother Phyllis

Once when we were lobbying for equal civil marriage rights for gays and lesbians in Sacramento in May 2005, a group of us – parents of gay people and gay people themselves – were being patronized by a Republican State Assemblyman’s staffer. I lost my cool and stormed out. Joan, then, truly rose to the occasion in telling him in no uncertain terms how he was wrong in his views and that she was representing her family – not an abstract idea. She was a pit bull for her children and a model for all mothers.

Joan was a skilled speech therapist in her professional life. She was educated in Brooklyn College and was very proud of her Fellowship to NYU for her Masters. She was proudest of all of receiving her CCC – her ASHA certification – on the first try. Until Jeffrey was born, Joan worked in the Wappingers Falls New York school district. She was very highly regarded and successful. I always enjoyed hearing about her cases and successes. To that task she brought patience, skill and compassion.

I will remember Joan as my dearest companion and love of over 40 years.

Steve.

Please consider a donation in Joan’s memory to her favorite charity –

Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), Los Angeles Chapter,

P.O. Box 24565, Los Angeles, CA 90024